2012. Here’s how to become a perfect skipper

Welcome to the special section “BAM 35 Years.” We are presenting “cult” articles from the Motor Boats archive, starting in 1990. A journey through time among stories unobtainable today, even in the great sea of the internet! A dive into the world of epic moments in motor boating. Here is one of the stories we were most passionate about.

Captain Zen

From Motor Boats 2012, no. 7, August, pp. 80-83.

Smiling, humorous and always reassuring: he is the skipper who can convey serenity in any situation. Anyone can become like him to sail “at peace” with the sea. And especially with the crew.

I decided to introduce you to Lele Panzeri first because he has the face of a sea wolf like real captains. He has a beard and white hair and has always reminded me of both Captain Findus and Giuseppe Garibaldi. Lele has been sailing since time immemorial, has crossed almost all the seas and has even saved lives, but what I want you to know is that human side of him that embodies the figure of the Zen captain, always calm and relaxed, able to make people fall in love with the boat and the thousands of details that are part of u ina successful cruise, making sailing an unforgettable experience for everyone. Tales of the sea, shrewdness in the roadstead and in port, and above all the ability to never let the people on board sense danger. The lucidity of always showing himself as an impassive Buddha who controls everything. Through his gaze we will try to understand more about how to “stay” in a boat rather than how to “go” in a boat, because after all, there is a Zen side in each of us, even if we don’t know it or we forget it. The important thing is to know how to bring it out.

Choose the itinerary

One of the issues that matters most to the crew is where and when they decide to go. Often the most difficult thing is to get people to digest the influence of natural and weather variables on the choice of sailing route. One mischief is to figure out the best destination to reach and pass it off as the undoubtedly most beautiful place nearby. When the voyage is completed then, always have the crew see on the nautical chart where they are, and the route taken in the day.

Seasickness, half a joy

Never forget some advice for seasickness, one of the dangers most feared by newbies, here is one from our Zen captain: “Seasickness, half a joy. It is always lurking, and no one in the world can claim to be totally immune to it. In addition to the usual trick of the anchovy cracker, which is very well known and practiced, I will share with you a strategy I have devised myself, which over the years has helped me a great deal. The secret is this: you must never oppose or in any way counteract the movement that is making boat. Although it will come naturally to you to do so, you must try not to contract your stomach muscles, not to counterbalance to the right when the boat tilts to the left and vice versa. In fact, you must do exactly the opposite. You must act as if on a seesaw. You must “push” the boat in the direction it is going, trying to help it in its movement, perhaps exalting yourself and shouting nonsense phrases, as Lieutenant Dan did in Forrest Gump. Have you ever ridden a motorcycle on the back seat? In right-hand turns, if you counterbalance to the left, the driver gets pissed off. Same thing. It’s not easy at first, but I assure you that then it works. Anyway, avoid reading, look at land, if you are on the high seas look at the clouds, try not to drink and above all cover yourself well before you get cold, not after. Try to stay in the middle of the boat and as low as possible. If you can do this put yourself at the helm and concentrate on steering the boat. If none of this works, next year go on vacation to the mountains that the boat is not for you.”

How to survive August in the bay

During summer cruising, the crowded August bays are one of the reasons that create the most nervousness. “But how, I came on a boat to find some peace and quiet and I find myself in a Mirabilandia-style situation?” Screaming, cackling, tenders splintering toward the beach, there must be a way to make this more bearable. Here it is: “Your first impulse will probably be to get as close to shore as possible so that you can be quick in disembarking and have the boat well in sight as you brown on the sand. In my opinion this is a gross mistake. Anchors, you know, are made to cling to the bottom and hold the boat in place, but it can also happen that things don’t go exactly smoothly down there. Maybe the anchor falls overturned, doesn’t catch, and the weight of the chain will make you think you’re okay. Then a puff of air comes up, the boat unanchors and inexorably sets off to slam into the boats behind it. Crack. Thousands of euros, insurance companies, adjusters, breakage, vacation compromised. Instead, put yourself downwind of everyone, a little further offshore, maybe even far from shore, but safe. If someone de-anchors and comes at you, he pays, at least. If your boat de-anchors and you and you are on board, after a while you will find yourself in the middle of the sea. Not too bad. Go back and anchor again. If the boat de-anchors while you are ashore, hope you have enough gas in the tender’s outboard.”

The goodies to take on board

A successful cruise is also often characterized by the accessories you choose to bring on board. Here are some goodies you may not have thought of yet: a net and a fruit box to alleviate the age-old problem of dishwashing: the former will act as a “dishwasher” by storing the dishes in it and closing the net; the “bundle” thus created can soak for a while at the stern to get rid of major dirt; the whole thing can then be drained into a fruit box, which will then also be convenient for bringing the dishes back below deck; a wind sleeve to ventilate the cabins on scorching days will not make people regret the pampered air conditioning; a barbecue for nice grills is definitely a gift for everyone on board; inflatable pads may be welcome for those who like to sunbathe or read while lying on deck; an anchor retaining hook to divert the pull of the chain away from the anchor windlass.

Zen mooring

“After so many years of sailing, if there is one thing that still gives me some concern, it is to go to a berth in a marina, in an unfamiliar berth, perhaps with the wind at the crosswind. Understanding that a boat the slower it goes, the worse it steers, after much thought and experience I have determined the following: always moor bow to dock. As do almost all the French, for example, who know more about boats and foie gras than we do. Entering even a narrow berth going forward is certainly easier than going backwards. It will be a little more uncomfortable to go ashore by jumping from the bow pulpit, but you can manage it. On the upside, the cockpit will be on the opposite side of the dock, and no one passing by will be able to peek at your girlfriend’s graces as she spreads the cream or count the cherry tomatoes you are cutting to make sauce. To get out then, no problem, let go of the lines at the bow and the tow will automatically and very gently slip out of your berth. Let the stern fall into the water and you yourself who are at the helm can see if it has gone down well, without having to necessarily trust that moron friend of yours.”

One morning alone in the roadstead…

Making it on the water. For some obscure reason, anyone facing a cruise will sooner or later come up with this whimsical idea. You will probably think of it early one fine morning, in a sheltered roadstead, at anchor. Everyone is still asleep, you’ve had your coffee, smoked a cigarette, and now, suddenly you have an overpowering urge. You don’t want to make noise below deck, nor do you want to foul the air for your friends. You dive into the water, swim a few dozen meters away swimming breaststroke in the calm, clean water, and finally, you try and maybe even succeed. Bravo! You immediately feel better, but that’s not the end of it. Immediately you realize a problem you hadn’t really thought about: how to get away from ‘gross domestic product’. It is not easy. As you swim away, the displacement of your body in the water causes a kind of induced resistance, a kind of suction that causes the ghastly projectile to follow you around cheerfully and faithfully, like a young duck, freshly hatched from the egg, cheerfully follows its mother, looking at her lovingly… mom… My advice is to carry a fin with you. Just one is enough, with which to “make wind” (water) to ward off the unwelcome guest. Or, if you prefer, you can pick up the brown meteorite using the fin as a spoon, and then catapult it onto the deck of your neighbors’ boat who were sleep-deprived last night and kept singing Battisti songs until three o’clock.” Thanks again Lele and as you say, “Happy vacations, good wind and may Kandebu protect you.”

by Veronica Bottasini

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